Drew not so Fab anymore

The story:
Drew Barrymore and her boyfriend of 5 years Fabrizio Morettie have broken up again.

The combatants:
A Socialite's Life says: Drew Barrymore and BF "on a break"
Dlisted says: Cameron's bff also newly single
EFaded Youth says: Another Hollywood break-up
I'm Not Obsessed says: Drew Barrymore splits with Fabrizio Moretti
Lainey Gossip says: Drew and Fab: over...again?
Popsugar says: Drew and Fabrizio on another break
Seriously? OMG! WTF?! says: Drew Barrymore no longer has mad love for Fabrizio Moretti?

Who said it best:
A Socialite's Life sees the writing on the wall as far as any reunion goes:

"Drew said they needed time off." And I think we all know what that means. That's right, the sputtering death throes of a relationship usually involve a few "breaks" before the break-up actually takes.

Break up with the make up

The story:
Dita Von Teese is divorcing Marilyn Manson.

The combatants:
Agent Bedhead says: Marilyn Manson is not the ideal husband
A Socialite's Life says: Marilyn Manson divorced by his satanic bride, hundreds brace for divorce is evil and was obviously invented by Christ concept album
Best Week Ever says: Good news ladies, Marilyn Manson is back on the market!
Celebitchy says: Dita Von Teese to surprise Marilyn Manson with divorce papers
CelebNewsWire says: Dita Von Teese to serve Marilyn Manson fiendish divorce papers from hell

Dlisted says: Dita wants out
Faded Youth says: Another one bites the dust
Hollywood Rag says: Dita Von Teese files for divorce from Marilyn Manson
I'm Not Obsessed says: Dita Von Teese is divorcing Marilyn Manson!
Popsugar says: Dita drops Manson
Seriously? OMG! WTF?! says: Marilyn Manson is no longer Dita Von Teese's MAC daddy
Tabloid Whore says: I'd divorce him too

Who said it best:
CelebNewsWire takes Von Teese at her word:

And when she says "too many demons," she means it literally. He keeps them as pets. Dita is tired of them trip-trapping around their home with their cloven hooves and leaving diabolical little stools on the flotaki rug.

Image via Tabloid Whore

Justin and Cameron break up, again

The story:
According to Star Magazine, Justin Timberlake and Cameron Diaz have called it quits.

The combatants:
A Socialite's Life says: Justin confirms it?
Best Week Ever says: Cameron not getting d*** in a box?
Celebitchy says: Are Justin and Cameron finally over?
Celebrity Hijinx says: Rode the train to Splitsville for New Year's?
Defamer says: Did Justin Timberlake give Cameron Diaz a dump in a box this Christmas?
Hollywood Rag says: Justin Timberlake wants Scarlett Johansson
Mollygood says: Justin's New Years splash
Popsugar says: Are JT and Cameron really over?
The Superficial says: Cameron Diaz and Justin Timberlake may be broken up
What Would Tyler Durden Do says: Timberlake is single, Jessica is not

Who said it best:
Defamer has some advice for Cammy to get her over the heartbreak:

Diaz might do well to take a page from her most recent disappointing chick flick screen heroine, and perhaps get out of town for a while by swapping homes with fellow cross-the-pond starlet dumpee Sienna Miller--the more distance the better as Justin goes about the guilt-free gifting of his box to groupies in the coming months.

Image via Star Magazine

It's official: Jennifer Aniston and Vince Vaughn were having a relationship

The story:
Jennifer Aniston and Vince Vaughn have broken up.

The combatants:
Agent Bedhead says: A Jennifer Aniston black dress moment
A Socialite's Life says: Aniston and Vince Vaughn over - wasn't that already kind of a done deal?
Celebitchy says: The prolonged breakup - Vaughn and Aniston
CelebNewsWire says: Vaughniston split over Hungarian indiscretion
Defamer says: Aniston and Vaughn break up again, probably for real this time
Dlisted says: Jen and Vince break up for real
Faded Youth says: The Break-Up
The Gilded Moose says: Jennifer Aniston, Harriet Tubman call it quits
Glitterati Gossip says: Jennifer Aniston and Vince Vaughn: Hollywood's most famous un-couple break up
Haute Gossip says: No love for Jen?
Hollywood Rag says: Jennifer Aniston and Vince Vaughn: it's really over!
I'm Not Obsessed says: Jennifer Aniston and Vince Vaughn have broken up
Lainey Gossip says: Jennifer Aniston, eternal victim
Mandy's Mind is Gossipy says: Vaughniston breaks up, no Oprah special planned
Mollygood says: Jen and Vince split, horror of horro--wait, they were still together?
Popsugar says: Jen and Vince call it quits
Seriously? OMG! WTF?! says: I guess there isn't going to be a sequel to The Break Up
The Superficial says: Jennifer Aniston and Vince Vaughn really break up this time
Tabloid Whore says: It's finally official: Jen and Vince are finished
What Would Tyler Durden Do says: Vince and Jennifer are done

Who said it best:
Defamer knows who ended this *relationship*:

It seems that a committee of interested publicists, agents, lawyers, producing partners, and film executives have finally decided that Vince Vaughn and Jennifer Aniston can finally end their loose, unconvincing public association as a Hollywood power couple and pursue separate careers

Image via Faded Youth

Yawn -- boring couple breaks up

The story:
Rachel Bilson and Adam Brody of The OC have broken up.

The combatants:
A Socialite's Life says: Adam and Rachel appear to be finito
Celebitchy says: Rachel Bilson and Adam Brody broke up
CelebNewsWire says: Summer and Seth's IRL bustup
Dlisted says: They were actually kind of cute together
Egotastic says: Rachel Bilson and Adam Brody are dunzo
Faded Youth says: Yawn, they're over. Next!
Lainey Gossip says: About Rachel and Adam
Mandy's Mind is Gossipy says: Breaking up is the new black
Mollygood says: Rachel and Adam: Noooooooooooooooooo
Popsugar says: Adam Brody and Rachel Bilson split
Seriously? OMG! WTF?! says: Adam Brody and Rachel Bilson are like over
The Superficial says: Rachel Bilson and Adam Brody break up
Tabloid Whore says: Rachel Bilson and Adam Brody have (sniff) broken up
What Would Tyler Durden Do says: Rachel Bilson is single
Yeeeah says: Rachel Bilson is single


Who said it best:
Egotastic thinks the blogosphere won't get much mileage out of this break up:

According to Life & Style, it seems as though the split was mutual, so there isn't even any good post-relationship mudslinging to be had. Bummer.

Image via Yeeeah

The power of the Borat

The story:
Page Six is reporting that Pam and Kid's marriage failed over a fight about her appearance in Borat.


The combatants:
Agent Bedhead says: Cultural learnings of homewrecking for make benefit Borat
A Socialite's Life says: Borat, not drunken shot-gun wedding, wrecked Pam and Kid Rock's marriage
Celebitchy says: Borat causes Pamela Anderson and Kid Rock split
Defamer says: Borat now accused of ending doomed celebrity marriages
Dlisted says: Pam's marriage ends due to Borat?!?
Glitterati Gossip says: Did 'Borat' break up Pam and Kid Rock?
I Don't Like You In That Way says: Borat broke up Pam and Kid
Mollygood says: Shocker! Kid Rock is kind of a dick
Popsugar says: The reason behind Pam and Kid's split?
Seriously? OMG! WTF?! says: Blame Borat for Pam and Kid's divorce
The Superficial says: Borat breaks up Pam Anderson and Kid Rock
Tabloid Whore says: Kid Rock is an angry, insecure man

Who said it best:
I Don't Like You In That Way thinks Kid needs a little perspective on the situation:

Pam's had more condoms inside her than a gas station bathroom. If her playing pretend with Borat makes you jealous, you've got problems. She's done worse things with your friend when you run to the store to get more beer.

Four weddings and a divorce

The story:
Pam Anderson filed for divorce from Kid Rock after 4 wedding ceremonies and 4 months of marriage.

The combatants:
Agent Bedhead says: Pam Anderson does not promise to love, honor and cherish
A Socialite's Life says: Pam kicks the Rock
Best Week Ever says: It's time for Kid to tell the kids that daddy won't be coming home anymore
Celebitchy says: Woah! Pam Anderson filed for divorce from Kid Rock
CelebNewsWire says: Pam Anderson puts her enormous fake breasts back on the market
Celebrity Hijinx says: That didn't take long
Defamer says: Pamela Anderson's latest doomed marriage fizzles before the 5 month itch
Dlisted says: Pam Anderson files for divorce
Haute Gossip says: Pam has filed for divorce
Hollywood Rag says: Pamela Anderson files for divorce
Lainey Gossip says: No PamRock, no marriage
Mandy's Mind is Gossipy says: What is this world coming to?
Mollygood says: Pam and Kid flee the altar. Well, that was quick
Popsugar says: Pam Anderson and Kid divorce
The Superficial says: Pamela Anderson and Kid Rock divorce
Tabloid Whore says: Doh! Pamela Anderson and Kid Rock divorcing

Who said it best:
CelebNewsWire is stunned by the news:

we thought Pam and Kid's shared love of plastic palookas contrained by teeny bikinis, PBR, and rabbit-like sex in public (we assume) would be enough to last at least a year or two.

Image from GQ via Haute Gossip

Ben strikes a JLo blow

The story:
Ben Affleck says he was miserable with Jennifer Lopez.

The combatants:
A Socialite's Life says: Ben admits he dodged a gigantic bullet
Celebitchy says: Fake relationship quotes by Ben Affleck
Celebrity Nation says: Ben relieved he never married JLo
Haute Gossip says: Ben says JLo made him feel "suffocated, miserable, and gross"
Popsugar says: Ben admits that whole JLo thing sucked
Starpulse says: Ben Affleck regrets getting engaged to Jennifer Lopez

Who said it best:
A Socialite's Life thinks JLo got the short end of the stick:

Affleck might be the very definition of himbo, but he was smart enough to get while the gettin' was good. Did you see what Ms. Lopez ended up with?

Awesome comeback dude

The story:
Kfed left a note in his dressing room at a recent *concert* after finding out Britney was divorcing him.

The combatants:
A Socialite's Life says: Kfed's thoughts and feelings are beautiful...
Best Week Ever says: Sizzler: Fed-Ex leaves Britney a Fresnoian High-ku message in his dressing room
Celebitchy says: Kfed writes message to Britney on bathroom wall
CelebNewsWire says: Kevin Federline presents: F*uck a wife
Defamer says: The Graffitti of Truth Part II: the emancipation of Kfed
Dlisted says: Kfed is beyond mentally retarded
The Gilded Moose says: Nelson Mandela, Harriet Tubman hail Kfeds manifesto of freedom
Lainey Gossip says: Kfed: the black marker message
The Superficial says: Kfed writes mean stuff on doors
Tabloid Whore says: Federline abuses shower door in letter to "the ladies"

Who said it best:
Defamer reads between the lines to find the purpose to this Sharpie scribble:

It's entirely possible that Federline intended this message (which calls to mind his estranged wife's immortal Graffiti of Truth) to serve as a simultaneous filing of a divorce counter-suit and a child custody claim, hoping to bypass the luxury of prohibitively expensive legal counsel.

It's over!

The story:
Jude Law and Sienna Miller have announced the end of their *relationship* to People magazine.

The combatants:
Agent Bedhead says: Jude Law and skanky girlfriend break up for good, again
A Socialite's Life says: Jude Law and Sienna Miller: the final break up?
CelebNewsWire says: Sienna Miller officially free to explore non-monogamy
Dlisted says: They'll be back together in a couple of hours
Egotastic says: Sienna Miller and Jude Law split for Good now
Haute Gossip says: It's finally over!
Hollywood Rag says: Sienna Miller and Jude Law split for good
Lainey Gossip says: About Jude and Sienna
Mandy's Mind is Gossipy says: Jude and Sienna, I hear the 3rd time is the charm
Mollygood says: Jude and Sienna break up, once more with feeling
The Superficial says: Jude Law and Sienna Miller call it quits

Who said it best:
Mollygood tries to show some compassion:

Jude Law and Sienna Miller have grown sick of making each other less attractive and have called it quitsies again. I almost care, but can't really figure out why either of these people are more than marginally famous.

Kfed wants the kids

The story:
Kevin Federline has filed a petition asking for custody of his children with Britney Spears (funny, he never asked for custody of his other kids).

The combatants:
A Socialite's Life says: FedEx fights for full custody
Celebitchy says: Kfed gets to keep his crap, wants the kids too
CelebNewsWire says: Kfed hoping Tao has a full-time babysitter
Dlisted says: Kfed makes us all laugh!
Haute Gossip says: This is getting good
I Don't Like You In That Way says: Brit and Kfedervorce update
Lainey Gossip says: Golddigger keeps digging
Popsugar says: Kfed fights back
The Superficial says: Kevin Federline wants money and the kids
Tabloid Whore says: Kevin Federline sues Britney for full custody of the kids

Who said it best:
The Superficial has the inside track on the potential outcome to this custody battle:

If this thing goes to court the judge is gonna take a long hard look at Kevin and Britney and just hand custody over to a pair of racoons he saw at the park. And sure they might have rabies, but that just means they're only slightly more qualified than either of these two.

Image via Celebitchy

Ryan says "Thank you Britney"

The story:
Ryan Phillippe released a statement claiming to have not cheated on Reese Witherspoon with co-star Abbie Cornish.

The combatants:
A Socialite's Life says: Ryan Phillippe speaks out, while galpal avoids media
Celebrity Hijinx says: Questionable Quotes: Ryan Phillippe
Dlisted says: Oh yeah, remember that other celebrity divorce?
I Don't Like You In That Way says: Ryan Phillippe has something to say. Sorta.
I'm Not Obsessed says: Ryan Phillippe speaks out about divorce
Lainey Gossip says: Ryan speaks, Ryan denies, Ryan cheats
Mollygood says: Ryan Phillippe secretly thanks the sweet sweet lord for Kevin Federline

Who said it best:

A Socialite's Life wonders about the timing of this statement:

With Britney Spears' recently announced divorce proceedings threatening to completely upstaging the Reese Witherspoon/Ryan Phillippe dissolution, a statement issued by Ryan Phillippe proves his divorce is still worthy of media attention.

Dumped by text message

The story:
Did Kfed get the boot by text message while being filmed by MuchMusic?

The combatants:
A Socialite's Life says: Kevin Federline talking a day before the divorce
Best Week Ever says: Brit 2 Kfed: Its ova. ROTFL. KIT!
Celebitchy says: Video of Kfed getting the news that Britney is divorcing him
Defamer says: FedEx in the morning: a Kfed and Britney divorce! shocker! round-up
Dlisted says: A war for Britney and Kfed?
Haute Gossip says: I've been waiting for this
Hollywood Rag says: Kfed gets news by text message
I Don't Like You In That Way says: Kfed gets texted
Lainey Gossip says: The divorce, the stakes, the rumours
Mollygood says: Watch Kevin watch his life slip away
Popsugar says: Kfed found out about the divorce via text?
Tabloid Whore says: Caught on tape: Federline gets the bad news

Who said it best:
I Don't Like You In That Way wonders how Kevin is feeling:

I've never been burned alive and had my ashes launched into outer space then sucked through a black hole, but I imagine that's how K-Fed feels at this very moment. K-Fed had no idea. One minute he's sipping Cristal in the VIP room, the next he's renting a booth at the swap meet to pay for his legal fees.

Britney smarter than Sir Paul

The story:
Britney Spears had an ironclad pre-nup, and won't be sharing her fortune with Kfed.

The combatants:
Best Week Ever says: Sizzler: Brit & Kfed's pre-nup details!
Celebrity Hijinx says: The "Iron Clad" pre-nup: emerging details
Dlisted says: How much is Kfed going to get?
Popsugar says: Britney's battle could turn nasty

Who said it best:
Celebrity Hijinx breaks down the details for us:

In other words, Britney is still a millionaire and K-Fed's broke ass will be selling cell phone and detailing cars in about 2 years. Not so pimpy, eh?

The story you have been waiting for...

The story:
Britney Spears filed for divorce today.

The combatants:
Agent Bedhead says: Britney Spears: milf and pop cultures most eligible bachelorette or not?
A Socialite's Life says: Breaking: Britney finally wakes the fuck up
Best Week Ever says: Holy S**t! Britney files for divorce!
Celebitchy says: Britney surprises clueless Kfed with divorce papers

CelebNewsWire says: Breaking (away): Britney from Kevin! Officially!
Celebrity Hijinx says: Breaking news: Britney files for divorce
Defamer says: Breaking: Britney Spears divorcing Kfed, immediately begins search for next bad relationship
Dlisted says: Britney Spears files for divorce!
Egotastic says: Britney Spears to divorce Kevin Federline
Glitterati says: Fed up, Britney files for divorce
Haute Gossip says: Britney files for divorce. Hallelulah!
I Don't Like You In That Way says: Britney is finally dumping Kfed
Lainey Gossip says: Britney! Victory!
Mandy's Mind is Gossipy says: Britney Spears finally comes to her senses
Mollygood says: Britney files for divorce from Kevin? (cue jaw drop)
Popsugar says: Britney's back baby! Time to show Kevin the door
The Superficial says: Britney Spears files for divorce
Tabloid Whore says: Say whaa? Britney Spears files for divorce!
Yeeeah says: Britney Spears files for divorce

Who said it best:
Agent Bedhead is looking forward to the completion of Brit's makeover:

Just a day after revealing her surgeon’s latest work of art and a couple of weeks at the gym on David Letterman’s show last night, TMZ announces that Britney has decided to drop at least another 200 pounds of dead weight.

Cheater cheater pumpkin eater

The story:
Ryan Phillippe reportedly cheated on Reese Witherspoon with his Stop Loss co-star Abbie Cornish.

The combatants:
Agent Bedhead says: Reese Witherspoon needs to be consoled
A Socialite's Life says: The other woman
Best Week Ever says: Reese/Ryan homewrecker identified
Egotastic says: Is Abbie Cornish the reason Reese Witherspoon and Ryan Phillippe split?
Defamer says: Phillippe making out with co-star in a restaurant may have been warning sign that his marriage was in trouble
Haute Gossip says: The reason Reese kicked Ryan to the curb?
Hollywood Rag says: Ryan Phillippe's other woman
I Don't Like You In That Way says: Ryan Phillippe cheated
Lainey Gossip says: Reese and Ryan: the other woman and the other women
Mollygood says: Meet Ryan Phillippe's babyfaced mistress
Popsugar says: The Ryan and Reese split: blame it on the blonde and the blackberry
Yeeeah says: Ryan Phillippe walks the line

Who said it best:
This one was too close to call, and we have two winners who made me laugh for two very different reasons. Egotastic applauds Abbie's PR strategy:

It probably isn't most people's first choice as the way to achieve widespread fame and recognition, but being the other woman in a celebrity relationship meltdown is as good a way as any to get your name out there. So, Abbie Cornish, welcome to the spotlight.

Many have asked why Ryan would stray, and Agent Bedhead may very well have the answer:

The other reason could be the age old adage about hot chics: no matter how good she looks somebody else is already sick and tired of putting up with her shit.

Image via Egotastic

Another one bites the dust

The story:
Reese Witherspoon and Ryan Phillippe have separated.

The combatants:
Best Week Ever says: Reese and Ryan have Witherspooned and died!
Celebrity Hijinx says: It's 49 in dog years
Defamer says: Reese Witherspoon and Ryan Phillippe's wholesome Hollywood Camelot crumbles
CelebNewsWire says: Reese and Ryan break up, a nation weeps
Mandy's Mind is Gossipy says: The seven year itch
I Don't Like You In That Way says: Reese Witherspoon and Ryan Phillippe are done
Popsugar says: Reese and Ryan split???
A Socialite's Life says: Breaking: Tracey Flick admits defeat
Celebitchy says: Ryan and Reese separate
Tabloid Whore says: Reese and Ryan officially separate
Lainey Gossip says: The death of sunkissed illusion: Reese and Ryan over
Mollygood says: Oh no! Reese and Ryan Split! Pout.
Egotastic says: Reese Witherspoon is soon to be single
Dlisted says: Reese Witherspoon and Ryan Phillippe split
The Superficial says: Reese Witherspoon and Ryan Phillippe split

Who said it best:
Lainey Gossip wonders where the blame will fall:

Speculation will now undoubtedly spread like wildfire – why, when, who, how, and the MiniVan Majority will most likely blame Angelina Jolie.

Doors re-open at the Hilton

The story:
Nicky Hilton and Kevin Connelly have broken up.


The combatants:
The Superficial says: Nicky Hilton breaks up with Kevin Connelly
Popsugar says: Kevin Connelly no longer part of Nicky Hilton's entourage
A Socialite's Life says: Where do broken hearts go?
Best Week Ever says: Sizzler: Nicky Hilton free to whore around like Paris Hilton
I'm Bringing Blogging Back says: Nicky Hilton and Kevin Connelly kill it
CelebNewsWire says: Lock your doors, another Hilton sister on the loose
Celebitchy says: Nicky Hilton and Kevin Connelly split

Who said it best:
Gotta love CelebNewsWire's take on why this story is getting coverage:

About once every three months or so Nicky Hilton begs big sis Paris to lie low for a couple days, go for a series of colonics at that nice spa in Palm Springs or fall off a table while she's dancing so she has to have a bit of bed rest, so that Nicky can nab a little piece of the Hilton press pie, in order to sell Tweety-bird themed clothing or a hotel or cowboy hats with Nicky spelled out in rhinestones or some such crap. This time around Nick's using her Paris-free day for a little break-up publicity.

Image via A Socialite's Life

The end of a romance

The story:
Jennifer Aniston and Vince Vaughn have called it quits.


The combatants:
Defamer says: Selfish Aniston and Vaughn split, showing little consideration for the upcoming DVD release of their break-up-themed movie
Celebitchy says: In case you still care, Jen and Vince are really over supposedly
Mollygood says: Aniston a little too 'needy' and not enough 'Wilson brother' for Vaughn
A Socialite's Life says: The Break-Up - for real
Dlisted says: It's over for Jen and Vince
I Don't Like You In That Way says: Jennifer Aniston and Vince Vaughn are done
Popsugar says: Jen and Vince - the real life break up
Lainey Gossip says: Jennifer Aniston vs US Weekly

Who said it best:
Defamer seems a little cynical about the timing of this story:

We sincerely hope that the unwelcome publicity that is sure to surround the dissolution of their union doesn't harm the financial prospects of the movie, which regardless of its sell-through rate, will remain a beautiful cinematic testament to a relationship that burned too brightly.

Crack addled whore can't take no more!

The story:
Whitney Houston has filed for divorce from Bobby Brown.

Image via Dlisted

The combatants:
Celebrity Hijinx says: She won't always love hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiim
Mandy's Mind is Gossipy says: Whitney Houston drops Bobby like it's hot
I Don't Like You In That Ways says: Whitney is divorcing Bobby
Mollygood says: Whitney and Bobby to Di to the Vorce
Tabloid Whore says: Oh yes, Whitney Houston files for divorce from Bobby Brown
A Socialite's Life says: Can I get an amen?
Dlisted says: Whitney Houston files for legal separation! Will file for divorce!
Popsugar says: Whitney Houston files for separation
Defamer says: Whitney Houston back on the dating scene
The Superficial says: Whitney Houston and Bobby Brown separate
Lainey Gossip says: Whitney is the old Britney

Who said it best:
Mollygood is concerned about the impact on Bobby's "career":

So, I'm guessing that upcoming seasons of Being Bobby Brown will include a lot less pulling fecal matter out of one another's orifices? Probably for the best.