The wedding as recruitment strategy

The story:
Jim Carrey and Jennifer Lopez may be Scientology's newest members, thanks in part to Tom Cruise.

The combatants:
Defamer says: Jim Carrey and Jennifer Lopez's suppressive reps deflect rumors of Scientology involvement
Dlisted says: The Scientologists may have caught 2 more
Faded Youth says: Have JLo and Carey gone to the dark side?
Glitterati Gossip says: Does Scientology have 2 new recruits?
Haute Gossip says: Scientology snags some more
Hollywood Rag says: Jennifer Lopez and Jim Carrey convert to Scientology
Popsugar says: Tom and Katie successful Scientology recruiters?
Seriously? OMG! WFT?! says: Is Tom Cruise the ultimate Scientology recruiter?
What Would Tyler Durden Do says: JLo and Jim Carrey are crazy now too

Who said it best:
Seriously? OMG! WFT?! doesn't understand why these 2 image conscious celebs would make the move to Scientology now:

Don’t they know Scientology is so passe?

Image via Abaca Press

JLo busts a g-string

The story:
Jennifer Lopez was photographed with butt crack hanging out of her jeans, and what looked like the remains of a broken thong.

The combatants:
Celebitchy says: The latest celeb not wearing panties is...
CelebNewsWire says: JLo shows a bit of what's BLo
Dlisted says: I think I see a dingleberry
Lainey Gossip says: JLo: the incomparable ass and a potential hair crisis
Seriously? OMG! WTF?! says: Jennifer Lopez wears jeans with no underwear

Who said it best:
CelebNewsWire mourns the story this could have been last year:

We can no longer be titillated by a slice of J.Lo crack. What will be next to fall from gossip hound graces? The sheer blouse? The red-carpet nip slip? You are killing our art, Britney.

JHo cumming soon

The story:
Jennifer Lopez is not happy about an upcoming porn titled "Jenny on the c*ck".

The combatants:
Dlisted says: A Jennifer Lopez biopic
Glitterati Gossip says: JLo steamed about the JHo film
Hollywood Daily says: Jennifer Lopez spoofed in porn movie
I'm Not Obsessed says: Jennifer Lopez to be spoofed in x-rated film
Yeeeah says: JLo porno

Who said it best:
Yeeeah doesn't think the movie's producers put much effort into the name:

“Jenny on the Cock”? That’s the best they could do? Please.

Ben strikes a JLo blow

The story:
Ben Affleck says he was miserable with Jennifer Lopez.

The combatants:
A Socialite's Life says: Ben admits he dodged a gigantic bullet
Celebitchy says: Fake relationship quotes by Ben Affleck
Celebrity Nation says: Ben relieved he never married JLo
Haute Gossip says: Ben says JLo made him feel "suffocated, miserable, and gross"
Popsugar says: Ben admits that whole JLo thing sucked
Starpulse says: Ben Affleck regrets getting engaged to Jennifer Lopez

Who said it best:
A Socialite's Life thinks JLo got the short end of the stick:

Affleck might be the very definition of himbo, but he was smart enough to get while the gettin' was good. Did you see what Ms. Lopez ended up with?