No, no just no

The story:
In a story that he must have planted himself as some kind of sick twisted practical joke, George Clooney is reportedly dating Pamela Anderson.


The combatants:
Agent Bedhead says: George Clooney hates his penis
Cele|bitchy says: George Clooney get your cootie shots!
CelebNewsWire says: Does this mean a George Clooney public face-licking is in our future?
Dlisted says: This isn't helping those gay rumors
Faded Youth says: Does George Clooney have a new beard?
Gabsmash says: Pam Anderson is dating George Clooney
The Superficial says: Pamela Anderson and George Clooney might be dating

Who said it best:
Cele|bitchy is looking on the bright side:

The only good thing about this hook-up is that we can be sure it won’t last long.

Image via Agent Bedhead

Kid kicks in door

The story:
Kid Rock heard that Pam Anderson was doing the dirty with ex-husband Tommy Lee, and attempted to kick in Lee's hotel room door. Naturally, he had the wrong room.


The combatants:
Agent Bedhead says: Kid Rock is a class act
A Socialite's Life says: Hell hath no fury like a Kid scorned
Best Week Ever says: Two complete trash balls prepare to fight each other over some sleazy bimbo
Dlisted says: Kid Rock is mad
Faded Youth says: Close...but no Tommy Lee
Haute Gossip says: Like a jealous kid
Hollywood Rag says: Kid Rock wants to kick Tommy Lee's butt
Popsugar says: Kid throws a tantrum
The Superficial says: Kid Rock scares innocent families
Tabloid Whore says: Kid Rock tries to kick Tommy Lee's ass. Fails miserably

Who said it best:
Best Week Ever feels a little sorry for Kid:

Other sources go on to report that Tommy Lee has gotten wind of Kid’s mistake, and has now started calling to taunt him. Nothing takes the sting out of a failed marriage quite like a daily voicemail from your ex-wife’s new lover, who just called to remind you how large his penis is.

The power of the Borat

The story:
Page Six is reporting that Pam and Kid's marriage failed over a fight about her appearance in Borat.


The combatants:
Agent Bedhead says: Cultural learnings of homewrecking for make benefit Borat
A Socialite's Life says: Borat, not drunken shot-gun wedding, wrecked Pam and Kid Rock's marriage
Celebitchy says: Borat causes Pamela Anderson and Kid Rock split
Defamer says: Borat now accused of ending doomed celebrity marriages
Dlisted says: Pam's marriage ends due to Borat?!?
Glitterati Gossip says: Did 'Borat' break up Pam and Kid Rock?
I Don't Like You In That Way says: Borat broke up Pam and Kid
Mollygood says: Shocker! Kid Rock is kind of a dick
Popsugar says: The reason behind Pam and Kid's split?
Seriously? OMG! WTF?! says: Blame Borat for Pam and Kid's divorce
The Superficial says: Borat breaks up Pam Anderson and Kid Rock
Tabloid Whore says: Kid Rock is an angry, insecure man

Who said it best:
I Don't Like You In That Way thinks Kid needs a little perspective on the situation:

Pam's had more condoms inside her than a gas station bathroom. If her playing pretend with Borat makes you jealous, you've got problems. She's done worse things with your friend when you run to the store to get more beer.

Four weddings and a divorce

The story:
Pam Anderson filed for divorce from Kid Rock after 4 wedding ceremonies and 4 months of marriage.

The combatants:
Agent Bedhead says: Pam Anderson does not promise to love, honor and cherish
A Socialite's Life says: Pam kicks the Rock
Best Week Ever says: It's time for Kid to tell the kids that daddy won't be coming home anymore
Celebitchy says: Woah! Pam Anderson filed for divorce from Kid Rock
CelebNewsWire says: Pam Anderson puts her enormous fake breasts back on the market
Celebrity Hijinx says: That didn't take long
Defamer says: Pamela Anderson's latest doomed marriage fizzles before the 5 month itch
Dlisted says: Pam Anderson files for divorce
Haute Gossip says: Pam has filed for divorce
Hollywood Rag says: Pamela Anderson files for divorce
Lainey Gossip says: No PamRock, no marriage
Mandy's Mind is Gossipy says: What is this world coming to?
Mollygood says: Pam and Kid flee the altar. Well, that was quick
Popsugar says: Pam Anderson and Kid divorce
The Superficial says: Pamela Anderson and Kid Rock divorce
Tabloid Whore says: Doh! Pamela Anderson and Kid Rock divorcing

Who said it best:
CelebNewsWire is stunned by the news:

we thought Pam and Kid's shared love of plastic palookas contrained by teeny bikinis, PBR, and rabbit-like sex in public (we assume) would be enough to last at least a year or two.

Image from GQ via Haute Gossip