Rosie and Donald and Barbara, oh my

The story:
Barabara Walters has been dragged into the feud between The Donald and Rosie.

The combatants:
Agent Bedhead says: As the war slowly becomes a quagmire
A Socialite's Life says: Rosie and Trump: round 34,673 alpha quadrant niner
Celebitchy says: Trump can't let it go
Celebrity Hijinx says: Somebody fire Donald Trump
Defamer says: Donald Trump sends Rosie O'Donnell and family his regards
Dlisted says: Trump's letter to Rosie
Faded Youth says: Round 10
Haute Gossip says: More schoolkid mudslinging, Trump styles
I'm Not Obsessed says: Donald Trump writes to Rosie O'Donnell
Lainey Gossip says: Cagematch at The View
Seriously? OMG! WTF?! says: Round whatever: Rosie vs The Donald
What Would Tyler Durden Do says: Rosie got PWN3D. Again. Bad.

Who said it best:
Agent Bedhead doesn't see an end in site to this one:

The Rosie O’Donnell-Donald Trump feud was amusing for about ten minutes, but now the inevitable has happened. It’s become ugly and tedious and interminable, because both of these people are physically incapable of shutting the hell up.

Image via Celebrity Hijinx

That ain't no way, to buy a baby!

The story:
Angelina Jolie would not adopt a baby from a country where adoption is illegal, such as Malawi.

The combatants:
Agent Bedhead says: Angelina works one in on Madonna
A Socialite's Life says: Angelina slams Madonna's illegal adoption
Celebitchy says: Angelina Jolie answers Madonna's dig, one ups her
Dlisted says: Fighting words
Hollywood Rag says: Angelina Jolie weighs in on Madonna's adoption
I'm Not Obsessed says: Angelina Jolie on Madonna's adoption
Popsugar says: Angelina attacks Madonna
Seriously? OMG! WTF?! says: Angelina Jolie uses some fighting words against Madonna
The Superficial says: Angelina Jolie thinks she's better than Madonna
What Would Tyler Durden Do says: Angelina hates Madonna

Who said it best:
Dlisted hopes this doesn't turn into another celebrity feud:

Can’t we just get along? Angelina is not the queen of adoption! Mia Farrow is!

Image via A Socialite's Life

Stick wars

The story:
Hilary Duff referred to Nicole Richie as a skank.

The combatants:
A Socialite's Life says: Hilary Duff gets bitter and judgemental
Dlisted says: Breaking: Hilary Duff uses the word 'skank'
Faded Youth says: Hilary to Nicole: skank!
Hollywood Tuna says: Hilary Duff gets a little skanky
Hollywood Rag says: Nicole Richie is a skank
I Don't Like You In That Way says: Nicole Richie is a skank
Popsugar says: Duff disses Nicole

Who said it best:
Dlisted thinks Hilary has the advantage in this one:

Stickfight! Hilary can totally use her horse teeth to cut Nicole in two!

Image via Gallery of the Absurd

Combover vs Clamshell

The story:
Donald Trump and Rosie O'Donnell are engaged in a war of words which stems from her opinion about his handling of the Miss USA scandal.

The combatants:
Agent Bedhead says: The Donald's Christmas gift to humanity
A Socialite's Life says: Trump sends Rosie Christmas greetings, refers to her as a clam
Best Week Ever says: Best showdown ever: Rosie v. Trump
Celebitchy says: Rosie vs. Trump in the 8th grade battle of the put downs
CelebNewsWire says: Rosie and Trump not feeling holiday love
Celebrity Hijinx says: Celebrity deathmatch 9: Rosie vs THE Donald
Defamer says: All Donald Trump wants for Christmas is for his lawyers to stick their hands into Rosie's fat-ass pockets
Dlisted says: Will they oil wrestle already?
Faded Youth says: Round 3!
Hollywood Rag says: Donald Trump quote of the day
I'm Not Obsessed says: Rosie O'Donnell vs Donald Trump: was it called for?
Lainey Gossip says: Trump on Rosie: Queen sized temper
Popsugar says: Trump and Rosie's crazy feud
Seriously? OMG! WTF?! says: Round 1: Rosie vs the Donald
The Superficial says: Donald Trump and Rosie O'Donnell battle it out
Yeeeah says: The Donald and O'Donnell face off

Who said it best:
Yeeeah is not impressed with Trump's witty repartee:

Ah, the “fat loser” card. The moral high road. Donald Trump just effectively out-douched the most unlikeable woman on television in one fell swoop.

Image via A Socialite's Life

Battle of the Queens: Hot vs Not

The story:
Reichen Luhmkuhl posted on his MySpace blog that a certain blogger is full of shit. And a meth addict and thief.

The combatants:
Agent Bedhead says: When celebrities attack
A Socialite's Life says: Reichen vs Perez, round 1
Celebitchy says: Lance Bass' partner, Reichen, tells Perez to stuff it
Celebrity Hijinx says: I'm going to have to start a 'Celebrity MySpace Blog' column
Dlisted says: Reichen Lehmkuhl quote of the day
I'm Not Obsessed says: Reichen Lehmkuhl is mad! mad! mad!

Who said it best:
A Socialite's Life would like to see this battle escalate:

Coming to your Live! From the MGM Grand in Las Vegas! I really do want to see these two fight in like an Ultimate Fighting Championship setting. I'm sure it wouldn't last long but it seems it would be very satisfying to a lot people.

Image via Gallery of the Absurd

Kelly Ripa bitchslaps Gayken

The story:
Kelly Ripa is upset that Clay Aiken put his hand over her mouth to shut her up while he was guest hosting on Live.



The combatants:
A Socialite's Life says: Kelly Ripa wants Clay Aiken to keep his hands off her mouth
Best Week Ever says: Unemployment Check: Catfight, Ripa v Aiken
Celebrity Hijinx says: Ripa rippin' Clay a new asshole
Dlisted says: Kelly Ripa was not happy about this!
Lainey Gossip says: Kelly Ripa hates the maybe gaybe Claybe
Pen15 Club says: Clay Aiken smears santorum in Kelly Ripa's mouth, allegedly
Starpulse says: Clay Aiken angers Kelly Ripa

Who said it best:
Best Week Ever wonders why Clay did it:

We’re not sure what motivating factors led to this. Maybe Clay was trying to be funny, or maybe he was just overcome with curiosity and wondered what a woman feels like.

Mean girl tells the truth

The story:
Tina Fey told Howard Stern that Paris Hilton is a "piece of shit."

The combatants:
A Socialite's Life says: Tina Fey's not a Paris Hilton fan
Best Week Ever says: Live from New York, it's ON bitch
CelebNewsWire says: Paris Hilton: a braless "piece of shit" with chancres
City Rag says: Tina Fey on why Paris Hilton sucks
Gawker says: Tina Fey reveals that Paris Hilton is dumb
Hollywood Rag says: Shanna Moakler says Paris Hilton has herpes
I Don't Like You In That Way says: Tina Fey is honest
Lainey Gossip says: Tina Fey vs Hollywood Ebola
The Superficial says: Tina Fey speaks the truth

Who said it best:
The Superficial is a real fan of Fey:

But if [being a hero] means calling Paris Hilton a tranvestite on national radio then by golly Tina Fey is a hero. Some might even say the greatest hero ever to have lived.

You gotta know when to say when

The story:
Borat didn't go over so well with one man on the street in NY.

The combatants:
Best Week Ever says: Sizzler: Not Niiiice. Borat beaten to a pulp.
Celebitchy says: Dr House saves Borat from a beat down!
Dlisted says: Borat gets the beat down
Hollywood Rag says: Borat gets punched in the face
Lainey Gossip says: My Borat attacked!
Popoholic says: Borat attacked in New York

Who said it best:
Dlisted isn't really surprised about the locale of this altercation:

The man didn’t know who he was and didn’t get the joke, so he punched him in the face. Welcome to New York.

Image via Hollywood Rag

At least she's hired a driver

The story:
Lindsay Lohan called Paris Hilton as a c*nt to paparazzi outside an LA nightclub.




The combatants:
A Socialite's Life says: Lindsay Lohan has a potty mouth
Best Week Ever says: Sizzler: Lohan calls Paris a crotch-related epithet, uses less imagery
Celebrity Hijinx says: The C-word
Dlisted says: Lindsay calls Paris a C-U-Next-Tuesday
Egotastic says: Lindsay Lohan: "Paris Hilton is a c*nt."
Haute Gossip says: Firecrotch vs Parasite
Hollywood Rag says: Lindsay calls Paris Hilton a c**t
I Don't Like You In That Way says: Paris is a c*unt and Lindsay is see-through
Mollygood says: Lindsay sees Paris' firecrotch and raises her a c*nt
The Superficial says: Lindsay Lohan says mean things about Paris Hilton

Who said it best:
Best Week Ever is impressed with Lindsay's phraseology:

Unlike Brandon Davis, who’s the Shakespeare of shouting pointless drunken celebrity insults at nearby cameras, it would appear that Lindsay Lohan prefers her prose to be more short and to the point - sort of like a Hemingway of the ho-bag set.

Video via Celebrities.com

Abusing the elderly

The story:
Patrick Dempsey's former wife accused him of abuse during their divorce, but has since retracted those statements.

The combatants:
A Socialite's Life says: Was McDreamy a McMeany?
CelebNewsWire says: CNW Junk Drawer: like women everywhere
Dlisted says: Dr McBeatdown?
Popsugar says: Is Patrick Dempsey really such a brawler?
Tabloid Whore says: Patrick Dempsey once accused of abuse by elderly ex-wife

Who said it best:
CelebNewsWire is certain that the alleged incident can be put down to artistic temperment:

Can you really blame Dempsey for feeling violent when he spent day in and day out in character as a brutal, sexist killer with a hair-trigger temper. Wait, what? Can't Buy Me Love was about a mild-mannered nerd on a riding lawnmower? Oh.

Image via Dlisted

Tom can't get no love

The story:
Sumner Redstone continues his Tom Cruise bashing in the media, explaining in detail in a recent interview why he decided not to renew Cruise's contract with Paramount.

The combatants:
Yeeeah says: Sumner Redstone explains firing Tom Cruise
Defamer says: Sumner Redstone not done kicking around Tom Cruise quite yet
Popsugar says: Sumner still Cruise bashing
Dlisted says: Men and women everywhere hate Tom Cruise
Hollywood Rag says: Sumner Redstone: Tom Cruise was embarassing!

Who said it best:

Defamer has the inside track to Redstone's mindset:

Perhaps Redstone allowed himself to get a little caught up in yet another moment of airing his thoughts on the Cruise menace, clenching a liver-spotted, veiny fist, waving it in front of him, and promising to "sock that little punk in the jaw the next time I see him, on behalf of all the studios sick and tired of having their profit margins destroyed by runaway talent costs."

She'll beat a bitch (again)

The story:
Naomi Campbell arrested yet again for assault, this time on her drug counselor.


The combatants:
The Superficial says: Naomi Campbell never not beating people
Tabloid Whore says: Naomi Campbell scratches the shit out of her therapist
Popsugar says: Naomi attacks and arrested again
A Socialite's Life says: Naomi Campbell's hands of mass destruction strike again!
Mollygood says: My question is, why was Naomi Campbell's drug counselor stealing her jeans?
Yeeeah says: Naomi Campbell can't stop hitting people
Celebitchy says: Naomi Campbell scratched a drug counselor on the face and chest
Dlisted says: Naomi Campbell, please report to the principal's office
Hollywood Rag says: Naomi Campbell arrested for scratching

Who said it best:
Dlisted thinks Naomi better be very choosy about who she picks on next:

One day Naomi is going to mess with the wrong ghetto bitch. Seriously, I want one of those chicks just to take her down. Is Shanna Moakler looking for a job?

Image via Celebitchy

Grey's Anatomy of the Fist

The story:
Fisticuffs broke out on the set of Grey's Anatomy.

The combatants:
Tabloid Whore says: Violence breaks out between co-stars on set of Grey's Anatomy
Best Week Ever says: Paging Dr Toughguy
Defamer says: When hunky TV doctors clash
Popsugar says: Dr McDreamy vs Dr Burke
A Socialite's Life says: What? What! WHA?!
Lainey Gossip says: Dr Burke: real life egomaniac?
I Don't Like You In That Way says: McDreamy got choked out

Who said it best:

A Socialite's Life prefers the drama at Grey's stay on the screen:

I'd much rather hear that everybody on "According to Jim" is hooked on meth, running around, trying to cut a bitch, cause really, that would actually make that show somewhat interesting.

Image via Best Week Ever

Fight!

The story:
Paris Hilton and Shanna Moakler got into a fist fight at Hyde.

Image via Celebrity Hijinx

The combatants:
Mollygood says: Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned...by Paris Hilton
The Superficial says: Paris Hilton and Shanna Moakler fistfight. Seriously.
Celebitchy says: Shanna Moakler and Paris Hilton both claim to have been attacked
Celebrity Hijinx says: Celebrity Deathmatch 6: A fist vs Paris Hilton's face
Popsugar says: Paris vs Shanna
Dlisted says: Shanna Moakler deserves a Nobel Prize
A Socialite's Life says: It's Paris Hilton vs Shanna Moakler
Tabloid Whore says: Paris Hilton sucker punched by Shanna Moakler. Yes!
CelebNewsWire says: Meet the Fighters, or The Simple Fight
Lainey Gossip says: Pro-love for punched Paris

Who said it best:
CelebNewsWire reminds the combatants why fighting is not ladylike:

C'mon, ladies, if your night is going to end with multiple police reports, at least let it be over George Clooney. Or how about Adrian Grenier? He's hot. Even Colin Farrell we might understand. But a pop-punk drummer with a fauxhawk and necktoos?

But dude, I've gotta take a leak

The story:
Jeremy Piven and Stephen Dorff got into an argument outside a NY club bathroom when Dorff cut the line.

Image via Celebrity Hijinx

The combatants:
Celebrity Hijinx says: Celebrity Deathmatch 4: Jeremy Piven vs Stephan Dorff
Mollygood says: Piven and Dorff should settle this one on the four-square court
Defamer says: Entourage Season 3 sneak peak: Piven vs Dorff
Popsugar says: Jeremy Piven and Stephen Dorff act like babies
I Don't Like You In That Way says: Jeremy Piven and Stephen Dorff are mature

Who said it best:
Celebrity Hijinx comes up with another great reality show idea:

Security should've let these two go at each other as sort of a sacrificial "star" brawl in hopes that they 'd both lose.

These boots were made for ass-kickin'

The story:
Lindsay Lohan stopped by Brett Ratner's LA abode unannounced and got in a fight with Ratner's model girlfriend after finding the 2 in bed together.

Image via Celebrity Nation

The combatants:
Celebrity Hijinx says: Lindsay isn't lucky in love
Popsugar says: Another Lohan catfight?
Egotastic says: Lindsay Lohan and Brett Ratner dunzo?
US Weekly Online says: Lindsay wants to deport the immigrants out of her boyfriend's bed
Dlisted says: Lindsay HoHan was shocked
A Socialite's Life says: Lindsay Lohan catches model in bed with Ratner, Catfight ensues

Who said it best:
US Weekly Online is all over the most important aspect of this story:

Okay, enough is enough. They can take our jobs, they can take our tax dollars, but when they take our 37-year-old men that perve on 19-year-olds, it’s time for them to go.

Whack-Job Supermodel vs 200lb Lesbian

Image via The Superficial

The story:
Rosie O'Donnell wants to give more than just a verbal smackdown to repeat abuser Naomi Campbell.

The combatants:
Celebrity Hijinx says: I'll smack a bitch
Hollywood Tuna says: Rosie O'Donnell wants a piece of Naomi Campbell
The Superficial says: Rosie O'Donnell challenges Naomi Campbell

Who said it best:
Gotta love Celebrity Hijinx' improvised dialogue in the headline. The Superficial and Hollywood Tuna both note that a repeat abuser like Campbell would likely win this celebrity death match, and I'll give this one to H-Tuna for this:

You know what I’d like to see? I’d like to see Naomi Campbell beat Rosie O’Donnell’s with a cell phone.

I can think of a few other celebs to add to that list!