Marilyn Manson is really creeeeeeepy

The story:
Marilyn Manson is reportedly getting it on with 19-year old Evan Rachel Wood.

The combatants:
Agent Bedhead says: Marilyn Manson: one bitch is as good as another
A Socialite's Life says: Evan Rachel Wood REALLY wants to stick it to her parents
Celebitchy says: Marilyn Manson dating Evan Rachel Wood?
CelebNewsWire says: Evan Rachel Wood becomes Marilyn Manson's disposable teen
Dlisted says: Evan Rachel Wood is stupido
Egotastic says: Evan Rachel Wood and Marilyn Manson shouldn't be dating
Glitterati Gossip says: Evan Rachel Wood a factor in the Manson / Von Teese split
Hollywood Rag says: Marilyn Manson dating a 19-year old
I'm Not Obsessed says: Marilyn Manson has moved on with Evan Rachel Wood
Mollygood says: Marilyn Manson is dating Evan Rachel Wood, obviously
Seriously? OMG! WTF?! says: Is Marilyn Manson dating an actress half his age?
Tabloid Whore says: Evan Rachel Wood dating Marilyn Manson??
What Would Tyler Durden Do says: Evan Rachel Wood and Marilyn Manson

Who said it best:
Mollygood is not surprised by this hookup:

Well I, for one, totally saw this couple coming. I mean, really guys, you're pretty blind if you didn't call this pairing from miles away.

Image via A Socialite's Life

JT and ScarJo hook up

The story:
Justin Timberlake is reportedly hooking up with Scarlett Johannson.


The combatants:
Agent Bedhead says: Yet another reason to hate Justin Timberlake
A Socialite's Life says: JT confirms it's over with Diaz
Celebitchy says: Justin Timberlake and Scarlett Johannson? Doubtful
Dlisted says: Upgrade
I Don't Like You In That Way says: Cameron Diaz is forgettable

Who said it best:
If this rumour is true, then I Don't Like You In That Way thinks there's no hope for Cameron Diaz:

Choosing between Scarlett Johansson and Cameron Diaz is like choosing between a porter house steak and a corn dog that's been dropped in a urinal.

New Year's Eve canoodles, pt 2

The story:
Nick Lachey and Vanessa Minillo were seen sucking face in New York City where she was hosting the MTV Goes Gold New Year's Eve countdown.

The combatants:
A Socialite's Life says: Out with the old, in with the new for Nick Lachey
Hollywood Rag says: Nick Lachey and Vanessa Minnillo kiss
Lainey Gossip says: Nick and Miss Vanessa: MTV pda
Mollygood says: Vanessa kisses Nick, goodbye her job in live tv
Popsugar says: Nick and Vanessa's NYE kiss
Yeeeah says: Nick Lachey and Vanessa Minillo go for gold, tongue

Who said it best:
Lainey Gossip is happy for the lovebirds:

Her game is so convincing, you have to be happy for a man who has found his Miss Sweetly Servile after too many years of enduring Miss Stupid.

Image via A Socialite's Life

New Year's Eve canoodles, pt 1

The story:
Jessica Simpson and John Mayer were seen sucking face at the Hudson Hotel party thrown by Christina Aguilera.

The combatants:
A Socialite's Life says: Jessica Simpson makes out with her Plan B on New Year's Eve
Celebitchy says: John Mayer is toying with Jessica Simpson
CelebNewsWire says: Simpson and Mayer really dating, duet your mom will really love to follow Dlisted says: John and Jessica still together
Faded Youth says: Love is not pretty
Haute Gossip says: Jessica & John make it official
Lainey Gossip says: Jessica and John: bedside to Barneys
Popsugar says: Jessica and John's New Year kiss
The Superficial says: Jessica Simpson and John Mayer get it on in public

Who said it best:
Dlisted thinks Jess should be careful of what she wishes for:

They apparently spent the entire weekend together in NYC are both are happy that the media hasn’t really caught wind of them. Um…probably because they don’t care?

Stone + Slater = crazy

The story:
Christian Slater and Sharon Stone are dating.

The combatants:

A Socialite's Life says: Basic Instinct 3: Home for the holidays, starring Christian Slater and Sharon Stone
CelebNewsWire says: Christian Slater places untamed heart under Shazza Stone's Christmas tree
Dlisted says: Sharon Stone's special Christmas elf
Glitterati Gossip says: Sharon Stone and Christian Slater hook up
Hollywood Rag says: Sharon Stone is dating Christian Slater
Popsugar says: Christian Slater goes cougar hunting
Starpulse says: Sharon Stone and Christian Slater are dating

Who said it best:
A Socialite's Life is really looking forward to the work the demise of this one will provide:

This can't possibly end without violence and/or someone's possessions being thrown on someone's front lawn--and until that happens, I'll be here waiting. With my laptop. So I can blog about it.

Image via A Socialite's Life

He's so cute y'all!

The story:
Britney Spears was caught smooching a new man on the weekend, record producer JR Rotem.

The combatants:
Best Week Ever says: Celebrity Math: you'll spontaneously shower edition
Celebrity Hijinx says: A day in the life
Dlisted says: Britney kisses new dude - not that exciting
Faded Youth says: Britney's mystery man a mystery no more
I Don't Like You In That Way says: Britney went on a date, got laid
I'm Not Obsessed says: Britney Spears caught kissing some dude
Lainey Gossip says: Britney...already???
Mollygood says: Brit Brit's got a brand new man
Seriously? OMG! WFT?! says: Britney Spears was making out with her producer?
The Superficial says: Britney Spears kisses mystery man

Who said it best:
Lainey Gossip has high hopes for this relationship:

Hopefully his gainful employment means he doesn't need to exercise the super sperm. I could go at least 6 months without seeing her pregnant... You?

Image via Mollygood

Canoodling Simpsons part 2

The story:
Page Six reports that Ashlee Simpson and the very married Taye Diggs were spotted on a *date* in New York.

The combatants:
Allie is Wired says: Ashlee Simpson and Taye Diggs?
A Socialite's Life says: Oh hell Naw
The Blemish says: Ashlee Simpson and Taye Diggs get cozy
Egotastic says: Ashlee Simpson totally wants Taye Diggs
Holy Candy says: Taye Diggs and Ashlee Simpson?!
I Don't Like You In That Way says: Joe Simpson isn't going to like this
I'm Not Obsessed says: Ashlee Simpson and Taye Diggs dating?
Mollygood says: How Ashlee got her groove back

Who said it best:
A Socialite's Life wonders about Taye's mindset:

I'm sorry, but I don't even like the idea that those two would be friends. I mean, Taye, please tell me you're more interesting than that.

Image via I Don't Like You In That Way

Jessica and John back on, not in Wonderland yet

The story:
Jessica Simpson is dating John Mayer again / still.

The combatants:
A Socialite's Life says: John Mayer and Jessica Simpson once again joined at their personal level of mediocrity
Dlisted says: Are John Mayer and Jessica Simpson back at it?
Hollywood Tuna says: Is Jessica Simpson drunk on love?
Lainey Gossip says: Joe Simpson at work, Jessica and John redux
Mollygood says: Jessica's body possible re-elevated to Wonderland status
Popsugar says: Jessica and John making it work

Who said it best:
Lainey Gossip may be feeling disappointed by the non-existence of the Brit/Kfed video:

I say hope John hangs in there. Because in combination with his dating criteria, his fondness for golden showers, and the skills she picked up from Johnny Knoxville in a Louisiana trailer, this relationship could spin off the dirtiest, raunchiest celebrity sex tape ever.

Orly and Kiki canoodle

The story:
Orlando Bloom and Kirsten Dunst were seen canoodling at the Chateau Marmont.

The combatants:
A Socialite's Life says: Orlando and Kirsten get it on
Best Week Ever says: Doomed celeb love is "in bloom"!
CelebNewsWire says: More crazy than beautiful
Dlisted says: They kind of belong together
Egotastic says: Kirsten Dunst and Orlando Bloom are totally doing it
Hollywood Rag says: Kirsten Dunst is dating Orlando Bloom
Mollygood says: Kirsten and Orlando happen to be standing next to each other while mutally single, relationship ensues
Popsugar says: Kirsten and Orlando's relationship blooms
The Superficial says: Orlando Bloom and Kirsten Dunst get it on

Who said it best:
While Mollygood has the best headline, Dlisted manages to explain the hook-up:

Orlando must be a homosexual, because he has the worst taste in women.

Image via Mollygood

New work out buddies?

The story:
Jessica Biel is reportedly dating Derek Jeter.

The combatants:
Agent Bedhead says: Derek Jeter is now my sworn enemy
A Socialite's Life says: Derek Jeter in 7th Heaven
Best Week Ever says: Sizzler: Jeter rounds the bases with Jessica Biel
CelebNewsWire says: Derek Jeter gets to first base with Jessica Biel
Egotastic says: Jessica Biel loves sports and Derek Jeter
I Don't Like You In That Way says: Jessica Biel is taken
Popsugar says: Jessica Biel finds a match
The Superficial says: Jessica Biel and Derek Jeter get it on

Who said it best:
Agent Bedhead isn't thrilled about the new couple:

Let this serve as notice Ms. Biel, we’re finished. Over. Done. Fineto. When he drops you for the woman voted Esquire dubs the “sexiest woman alive” in 2006 don’t come crawling back to me.

Images via The Superficial and A Socialite's Life

Given the chance I'll bet you would too

The story:
Ellen Barkin announced that she had sex with George Clooney.


The combatants:
Haute Gossip says: Yes Barkin's f&cked Clooney
Defamer says: The first rule of George Clooney fuck club is you never talk about George Clooney fuck club
A Socialite's Life says: Ladies love George Clooney
CelebNewsWire says: CNW Junk Drawer: "Yes, I have f_cked George Clooney
Hollywood Rag says: Ellen Barkin bleeped George Clooney

Who said it best:
While Defamer definitely has the best headline, CelebNewsWire's cynicism turns gossip into so what:

Ellen Barkin would like you to know that she has fucked George Clooney. Big deal. Join the club.

Nat and Nat, sitting in a tree

The story:
Natalie Portman is reportedly dating billionaire Nat Rothschild.


The combatants:
Celebrity Hijinx says: Celebrity Clone, Natalie Portman edition
The Superficial says: Natalie Portman dates billionaire Nat Rothschild
Egotastic says: Natalie Portman's billionaire British boyfriend
Popsugar says: Natalie's new man
Celebitchy says: Natalie Portman scores Petra Nemcova's billionaire man

Who said it best:
In case you'd forgotten the power of the Rothschilds, Celebrity Hijinx brings you this reminder from So I Married an Axe Murderer:

Stuart: Well, it's a well known fact, Sunny Jim, that there's a secret society of the five wealthiest people in the world, known as The Pentavirate, who run everything in the world, including the newspapers, and meet tri-annually at a secret country mansion in Colorado, known as The Meadows.

Tony: So who's in this Pentavirate?

Stuart: The Queen, The Vatican, The Gettys, The Rothschilds and Colonel Sanders before he went tits up. Oh, I hated the Colonel with is wee beady eye! And that smug look on his face, "Oh, you're gonna buy my chicken! Ohhhhh!"

Image via The Superficial