No, no just no

The story:
In a story that he must have planted himself as some kind of sick twisted practical joke, George Clooney is reportedly dating Pamela Anderson.


The combatants:
Agent Bedhead says: George Clooney hates his penis
Cele|bitchy says: George Clooney get your cootie shots!
CelebNewsWire says: Does this mean a George Clooney public face-licking is in our future?
Dlisted says: This isn't helping those gay rumors
Faded Youth says: Does George Clooney have a new beard?
Gabsmash says: Pam Anderson is dating George Clooney
The Superficial says: Pamela Anderson and George Clooney might be dating

Who said it best:
Cele|bitchy is looking on the bright side:

The only good thing about this hook-up is that we can be sure it won’t last long.

Image via Agent Bedhead

George loses longtime companion

The story:
George Clooney's pet pig died at age 18.

The combatants:
A Socialite's Life says: George Clooney's pig turns into a bacon angel
Defamer says: George Clooney's 300lb pig companion dies; huge turnout expected at bbq tribute
Dlisted says: RIP Max
The Gilded Moose says: First serious post ever: George Clooney's pig dies
Glitterati Gossip says: Obituary of the day: Max the pig (1998-2006)
Lainey Gossip says: George Clooney: sadness and hotness
Popsugar says: Clooney's pig RIP
Tabloid Whore says: George Clooney's pig kicks the bucket

Who said it best:
Lainey Gossip knows why this story is important to us:

And as is the case with most things related to George, even the fact that he had a pet pig makes him hot.

George is the hotness

The story:
People Magazine names George Clooney as Sexiest Man Alive for the 2nd time.


The combatants:
Agent Bedhead says: George Clooney is sexy?
A Socialite's Life says: George Clooney crowned prom king
Celebitchy says: George Clooney is the sexiest unattainable man alive
Defamer says: George Clooney featured on 'People' cover, proud to say he is a content sexiest man alive
Dlisted says: Sexiest man alive?
Glitterati Gossip says: People Magazine names George Clooney sexiest man alive
Haute Gossip says: This is IT ladies & gents
Lainey Gossip says: It's George
Mandy's Mind is Gossipy says: Thank you People Magazine!
Mollygood says: George ties "two-time" Brad
Popsugar says: George is the sexiest man alive - again
The Superficial says: George Clooney is sexiest man alive

Who said it best:
Agent Bedhead is not on board with People's choice:

I think they neglected to specify the Year Of 1994. Pesky details.

George Clooney is hot

The story:
George Clooney may be shorter than you think.


The combatants:
Faded Youth says: Shortcomings
Popsugar says: Clooney gets a lift
Lainey Gossip says: Rethinking Little George
Mollygood says: Height is a state of mind, Clooney

Who said it best:
Mollygood is looking for a job as Clooney's publicist:

See, it's not that George Clooney is short and has to stand on a box in order to look taller than Gemma Ward in the Vanity Fair shots of which this in an outtake. It's just that Gemma Ward is really, really tall. And the ground is on a little bit of a slant. And her heels are high. And that hair. And...and...and...

Image via Popsugar

Given the chance I'll bet you would too

The story:
Ellen Barkin announced that she had sex with George Clooney.


The combatants:
Haute Gossip says: Yes Barkin's f&cked Clooney
Defamer says: The first rule of George Clooney fuck club is you never talk about George Clooney fuck club
A Socialite's Life says: Ladies love George Clooney
CelebNewsWire says: CNW Junk Drawer: "Yes, I have f_cked George Clooney
Hollywood Rag says: Ellen Barkin bleeped George Clooney

Who said it best:
While Defamer definitely has the best headline, CelebNewsWire's cynicism turns gossip into so what:

Ellen Barkin would like you to know that she has fucked George Clooney. Big deal. Join the club.