Lindsay's appendix is "exhausted"

The story:
Lindsay Lohan was hospitalised to have her appendix removed.


The combatants:
A Socialite's Life says: Lindsay's appendix gets thrown out of Club Firecrotch
Celebitchy says: Lohan rushed to hospital with appendicitis
Celebrity Hijinx says: 2007 firsts: hospitalization and nip slip
Defamer says: Lindsay Lohan kicks off the new year with a suspicious hospital stay, 2007 appendicitis edition
Dlisted says: The hospital is Lindsay's second home
Egotastic says: Lindsay Lohan rejects Kevin Federline, ends up in hospital anyway
Faded Youth says: Lindsay Lohan hospitalized again
I'm Not Obsessed says: Lindsay Lohan in surgery for her appendix
Lainey Gossip says: Lindsay Lohan: schizophrenia, weight loss, or lipo?
Mollygood says: Lohan's appendix is sick of her shit, wants out
Popsugar says: Lindsay back in the hospital
Seriously? OMG! WTF?! says: Lindsay Lohan hospitalized again
The Superficial says: Lindsay Lohan going under the knife
What Would Tyler Durden Do says: Lindsay Lohan is having surgery
Yeeeah says: Lindsay Lohan hospitalized

Who said it best:
What Would Tyler Durden Do isn't falling for the appendicitis story:

If you're 20-years-old, and you're not a coal miner or ultimate fighter, and you're in the hospital this much, something's up. I can't quite put my finger on it, but I'm pretty sure it has something to do with being stupid.

Here's your clue: Miss Lohan in the Chateau with the cocaine

The story:
The National Enquirer is reporting that Lindsay Lohan overdosed at the Chateau Marmont on November 12 but refused to be taken to hospital after a doctor revived her.


The combatants:
A Socialite's Life says: Lindsay drug overdose?
The Bosh says: Lindsay Lohan's cocaine overdose - doc hides drugs in a panic?
Egotastic says: Lindsay Lohan drug overdose
Haute Gossip says: Did Lindsay OD?
Lainey Gossip says: Lilo OD?
Popsugar says: Lindsay Lohan overdosed?
Tabloid Whore says: The National Enquirer reports: Lindsay Lohan overdosed on cocaine and pills

Who said it best:
Egotastic seemed to be expecting this story:

It was only a matter of time, but the first headline proclaiming that Lindsay Lohan had a drug overdose has finally been published.

Image via Egotastic

Pete Doherty is still an idiot

The story:
Kate Moss rushed Pete Doherty to the ER after he got the supermodel's engagement ring stuck on his finger.

The combatants:
Agent Bedhead says: The perils of putting things where they don't belong
Best Week Ever says: Sizzler: Pete Doherty rushed to the ER
Dlisted says: Coke ring
Mollygood says: Sigh. Maybe Kate should buy Pete a pretty ring too, so he doesn't feel quite so left out
Popsugar says: Kate and Pete end up in the hospital
Yeeeah says: Pete Doherty needs more lube

Who said it best:
While I love Yeeeah's headline, Agent Bedhead speaks for us all in their closer:

Let us all be grateful that he only placed the ring on his finger

Image via Popsugar

Stick-ole hits the deck

The story:
Nicole Richie reportedly collapsed while partying at Hyde over the weekend.

The combatants:
Popsugar says: Nicole Richie collapses
Tabloid Whore says: Did Nicole Richie collapse?
A Socialite's Life says: Girls gone crazy
CelebNewsWire says: Nicole Richie who does not have an eating disorder collapses
Mollygood says: Pull yourselves together girls
Celebitchy says: Nicole Richie is still partying and fainting
Dlisted says: The Richie hits the floor
Mandy's Mind is Gossipy says: Nicole Richie passes out
Hollywood Rag says: Nicole Richie collapses
The Superficial says: Nicole Richie passes out

Who said it best:
Dlisted is not overly concerned with this latest turn of events:

I’m sure Nicole passes out on a daily basis. When you don’t eat actual food that feed your body nutrients and protein this sort of thing happens.

Image via A Socialite's Life

Limbaugh thinks MJF is fakin' the shakin'

The story:
Rush Limbaugh thinks that Michael J Fox stopped taking his Parkinson's medication before filming a stem cell research ad in order to appear as sick as possible.


The combatants:
Best Week Ever says: The Daily Douche: Rush is retarded, as usual
The Superficial says: Rush Limbaugh is an asshole
Defamer says: Rush Limbaugh almost positive Michael J Fox will drop the Parkinson's act if somebody yells 'fire'
Popsugar says: Rush Limbaugh is an a**hole
A Socialite's Life says: Rush Limbaugh's an ass
I Don't Like You In That Way says: Rush Limbaugh has it all figured out
Dlisted says: Fakin' the shake?
Hollywood Rag says: Rush Limbaugh disses Michael J Fox

Who said it best:
A Socialite's Life may have found the reason behind Limbaugh's attack:

And I can honestly feel sympathy for Rush, because I know--unlike most people--that he also suffers from a grave affliction against which he has no defense--diarrhea of the mouth. That's also why his head's so puffy and swollen--because of all that shit just dying to get out.

Image via Dlisted

Ben Affleck near death! (or maybe that's just his career)

The story:
Jennifer Garner rushed Ben Affleck to the ER on Memorial Day as he was suffering from a migraine.

Image via Lainey's Entertainment Update

The combatants:
Lainey's Entertainment Update says: Ben's mysterious malady
Tabloid Whore says: Wow! Ben Affleck gets migraine and is "just like us"
A Socialite's Life says: Ben Affleck's emergency room confusion
Defamer says: Ben Affleck rushed to hospital, emerges merely a director
Hollywood Rag says: Ben Affleck's Memorial Day migraine

Who said it best:
Lainey's smutty senses are tingling on this one...:

Because now I'm wondering whether or not the first time director with an acting career on life support had a bit of an anxiety attack that he thought was a heart attack.

... and Defamer is also on the death watch:

Emergency room physicians in Cambridge were able to treat Ben Affleck's migraine attack yesterday, but despite their best efforts, were apparently unable to resuscitate his acting career.