Nice day for a white trash wedding

The story:
Kate Moss and Pete Doherty got *married* in a Buddhist ceremony in Thailand, which may or may not be legally binding.

The combatants:
Agent Bedhead says: Do you, Kate Moss, take this junkie?
A Socialite's Life says: Kate and Pete fake married?
Best Week Ever says: Kate and Pete decide, "Phuket, let's get married!"
Celebitchy says: Kate Moss and Pete Doherty didn't get married - or did they?
Dlisted says: Let's hope homegirl got a prenup
Gawker says: Pete Doherty faux-marries Kate Moss
Hollywood Rag says: Kate Moss and Pete Doherty secretly married
Mollygood says: So...that wedding happened
Popsugar says: Kate and Pete get married
What Would Tyler Durden Do says: Mr and Mrs Pete Doherty
Yeeeah says: Kate and Pete tie the noose

Who said it best:
What Would Tyler Durden Do is in love with love:

It's kinda touching to see two drug addicted social deviants find love. It's like a fairytale, except instead of white horses and a carriage, Kate will go on her honeymoon hearing voices and yelling at demons, then wake up in a bathtub covered in someone elses blood. She's like a princess!

Image via A Socialite's Life

How does this guy stay out of jail?

The story:
Pete Doherty got in a fight with an actor who fell 2 stories to his death shortly afterwards.

The combatants:
Agent Bedhead says: Doherty diety report: trouble is his business
Best Week Ever says: Realizing his constant drug busts are boring us, Pete Doherty finally kills someone
Celeb Warship says: Pete Doherty steps up his crazy game
Dlisted says: Actor falls to his death after fighting with Pete Doherty
Hollywood Grind says: Pete Doherty questioned in actor's death
Popsugar says: Pete to be questioned in friend's death
Yeeeah says: Pete Doherty questioned in man's death

Who said it best:
Best Week Ever appreciates the fact that Pete is working hard to keep us titillated:

Possibly realizing that the “Pete Doherty Got Busted For Drugs Again - AGAIN!” headlines would only keep our attention for so long, the latest reports surrounding the scandal-addled one-time rocker suggest that Pete might have played a part in the tragic death of an actor who fell from a third-story balcony only minutes after the two got into a scuffle

Image via Agent Bedhead

Non-surprise of the week

The story:
Pete Doherty was arrested in London for having crack cocaine in his car.


The combatants:
Agent Bedhead says: Doherty diety report: crack at it again
A Socialite's Life says: Pete Doherty gets pinched for crack cocaine for like the one jillionth time
Celebitchy says: Pete and Repeat got in a boat. Pete got arrested for drugs...
CelebNewsWire says: And he still gets to pork a model
Dlisted says: Huge and surprising news
Lainey Gossip says: Junkie Pete rises again - Kate better with Leo?
Popsugar says: Pete back on crack?

Who said it best:
Dlisted has a positive outlook about the situation:

I do think that a good thing can come out of this for Pete. He’s bound to be in the Guinness World Records for being the biggest crackhead or being arrested the most times without serving actual jail time.

Image from Getty Images via Dlisted

Pete Doherty is still an idiot

The story:
Kate Moss rushed Pete Doherty to the ER after he got the supermodel's engagement ring stuck on his finger.

The combatants:
Agent Bedhead says: The perils of putting things where they don't belong
Best Week Ever says: Sizzler: Pete Doherty rushed to the ER
Dlisted says: Coke ring
Mollygood says: Sigh. Maybe Kate should buy Pete a pretty ring too, so he doesn't feel quite so left out
Popsugar says: Kate and Pete end up in the hospital
Yeeeah says: Pete Doherty needs more lube

Who said it best:
While I love Yeeeah's headline, Agent Bedhead speaks for us all in their closer:

Let us all be grateful that he only placed the ring on his finger

Image via Popsugar

Pete Doherty is an idiot (as if you needed futher proof)

The story:
Pete Doherty was photographed injecting heroin into an unconscious female groupie.

Image via Dlisted

The combatants:
A Socialite's Life says: Pete Doherty injects smack into unconscious girl
Dlisted says: Pete Doherty is a hero!
I Don't Like You In That Way says: Pete Doherty likes to share
Popsugar says: Throw Pete in jail forever
The Superficial says: Pete Doherty injects drugs into people
Perez Hilton says: He don't like the drugs...

Who said it best:
You've got to love IDLYITW's sarcastic take on a sad situation:

Okay, so can someone please explain to me why this lunatic isn't being forced to taste test penises in prison for the rest of his life? Not for being a deranged drug addict, but for wasting all that heroin. Take it from me, when girls are already unconscious, they'll always say yes.

Doherty's Groundhog Day

Image via A Socialite's Life

The story:
Sometime Kate Moss boyfriend Pete Doherty was re-arrested for possession just three hours after getting out of court on drug charges.

The combatants:
Popsugar says: Pete Doherty is a train wreck
The Superficial says: Pete Doherty arrested again after sentencing
Perez Hilton says: Pete Doherty - unluckiest man alive!
A Socialite's Life says: Pete Doherty arrested for possession just hours after leaving court

Who said it best:
Once again The Superficial wit wins out:

On a side note, how did this ugly monkey of a man ever bag Kate Moss? Sharing a love of cocaine is one thing, but vomiting everytime you look at the guy is another.