Carpet, drapes, match

The story:
Britney Spears shaved her head and got a couple of new tattoos over the weekend.


The combatants:
Agent Bedhead says: Britney Spears is now bald all over
A Socialite's Life says: The unraveling of Britney Spears
Cele|bitchy says: Britney Spears loses her sh*t, hair
Celebrity Hijinx says: Britney is bald
Defamer says: Newly bald Britney Spears makes tragically unfashionable cry for help in the valley
Dlisted says: Let the ratty wig wearing begin!
Egotastic says: Britney Spears bald: she shaved her own head
Faded Youth says: Britney goes bald
Haute Gossip says: Britney's lost the plot
Hollywood Rag says: Britney Spears shaves head for a wig
I Don't Like You In That Way says: Britney Spears is a bald-headed nightmare
Lainey Gossip says: Britney: the breakdown
Mollygood says: Britney's publicist says, "F&ck it!"
Popsugar says: Britney shaves her head
The Superficial says: Britney Spears shaved her head completely bald
Tabloid Whore says: Britney Spears shaves her head
What Would Tyler Durden Do says: Britney's big night out
Yeeeah says: Britney Spears is f-ing bald

Who said it best:
Everyone is speculating what brought about this latest cry for help, but Celebrity Hijinx seems to have found the answer:

Havin' hair and two kids is hard y'all.

Image via People

Bionic Bikini Woman, starring Lindsay Lohan

The story:
Lindsay Lohan was photographed running down the street in Miami wearing high heels, a bikini, and holding a cigarette. No, really! Here's the full picture to prove it.

The combatants:
Agent Bedhead says: Run Lohan run
Best Week Ever says: Last call at the cabana bar
CelebNewsWire says: Running with ciggers
Egotastic says: Lindsay Lohan thinks she's on Baywatch
Mollygood says: Physical fitness the Lohan way
The Superficial says: Lindsay Lohan runs down the street in her bikini
What Would Tyler Durden Do says: Cigarettes must be on sale

Who said it best:
Egotastic may have an explanation:

Maybe she just heard the news that her liver is fucked, and she's running to the grocery store to get a new one. Unfortunately for her, there's a dress code at the grocery store, and paté isn't going to do her much good.

Image via Agent Bedhead