Tori cleans house

The story:
Tori Spelling is having an *estate sale* to get rid of her crap before moving.

The combatants:
Best Week Ever says: Tori Spelling's garage sale starts now!
Celebitchy says: Tori Spelling's house is more shabby than chic
Defamer says: Tori Spelling yard sale not exactly a bargain hunter's paradise
Dlisted says: You know you want this
Haute Gossip says: Buy Tori's stuff - cheap!
Hollywood Rag says: Tori Spelling's garage sale today
Lainey Gossip says: Tori Spelling: own a piece of homewrecking history
Seriously? OMG! WFT?! says: Want to see some of the things Tori Spelling is selling?
The Superficial says: Tori Spelling selling all her crap
Tabloid Whore says: The infamous Tori Spelling estate sale

Who said it best:
Lainey Gossip is not impressed with Tori's goods:

Girl lives like a geriatric bird collector…is this what the Spelling mansion looks like?

Image via Seriously? OMG! WFT?!

Fugly baby on the way

The story:
Tori Spelling is pregnant.

Image via Tabloid Whore

The combatants:
Defamer says: Tori Spelling's current glow not brought to you by mystic tan
Tabloid Whore says: Yeah, yeah, Tori Spelling officially knocked up
Lainey Gossip says: Kfed Jr, miracle worker
CelebNewsWire says: Tori Spelling prego-210
Babelogs says: There's a bun in Tori Spelling's oven
I Don't Like You In That Way says: Tori Spelling is pregnant

Who said it best:
Babelogs has the child's best interests at heart:

Let’s hope Tori Spelling is a better mother than she is an actress.

Family feud

The story:
Tori Spelling blames her mother Candy for depriving Tori of the chance to say goodbye to her father before he died.

Image via US Weekly

The combatants:
Lainey Gossip says: It's on bitch!
Popsugar says: Tori Spelling finally lands a cover
US Weekly Online says: Tori's sad farewell
Dlisted says: Where was Tori?
Tabloid Whore says: Tori Spelling learned of daddy's death via blackberry
Haute Gossip says: Tori plays the blame game
Janet Charleton's Hollywood says: Notorious controversy
Defamer says: Candy Spelling: Why can't my media whore daughter let us hate each other in private?

Who said it best:
There doesn't seem to be much sympathy for Tori out in the blogosphere. Lainey has ideas on how karma might bite her on the ass:

Here's hoping she ends up having to actually work for a living. It's not sufficient moral justice but it's definitely a good start.

The Wicked Stepmother

The story:
Tori Spelling fired a couple of verbal shots at her gold-digging hubby's ex-wife while at the Much Music Video Awards.

Image via Page Six

The combatants:
Haute Gossip says: Tori's got pull
Celebrity Hijinx says: NoTORIously scandalous
Tabloid Whore says: Tacky Tori Spelling. Very tacky.
Dlisted says: Tori Spelling is still jealous
A Socialite's Life says: Tori Spelling brings out the claws
Lainey Gossip says: Tori Spelling out for blood

Who said it best:
Haute Gossip reminds us of all the good things that Dean sees in Tori:

I guess stealing her husband and father of her children wasn't enough for Tori, she's going to keep reminding her who has the fatter wallet and that the fatter wallet always wins.

Here comes the bride

The story:
Tori Spelling wed Dean McDermott over the weekend.

Image via Glitterati Gossip

The combatants:
Lainey's Entertainment Update says: Tori gets her Federline
A Socialite's Life says: Tori Spelling heads to Fiji to get married
Glitterati Gossips says: Tori Spelling gets married
Dlisted says: Tori Spelling makes it official
US Weekly Online says: Tori Spelling, Dean McDermott wed
Popsugar says: Tori Spelling married again
Perez Hilton says: Is she pregnant?

Who said it best:
Popsugar opened with this soon to be classic line:

In a desperate attempt to remind everyone her show is on tonight, Tori Spelling and Dean McDermott got married this weekend on a private tropical island in Fiji.