Look out below

The story:
Denise Richards threw a paparazzo's laptop over a balcony, reportedly striking an elderly woman or two in the arm.

The combatants:
Agent Bedhead says: Denise Richards joins the league of evil
A Socialite's Life says: The Mounties were after Denise
Best Week Ever says: Denise Richards injures 80 year old woman in wheelchair
Celebitchy says: Denise Richards throws a laptop off a balcony, hits a senior in a wheelchair!
CelebNewsWire says: Denise Richards hates grandmas
Defamer says: Denise Richards paparazzi rampage leaves 2 laptops, 1 senior injured
Dlisted says: Laptops. Old people. Skanks. Paparazzi.
Hollywood Rag says: Pamela's pet turtle farts, Denise Richards attacks senior
Lainey Gossip says: Breaking: Denise Richards hurts senior citizen!!!
The Superficial says: Denise Richards attacks the handicapped

Who said it best:

Best Week Ever is thinking ahead to the holiday season:

The real tragedy of all this? That no one was on hand to capture pictures of Richards in all her post-traumatic-divorcee rage. Can you say Sheen Family Christmas Card?

Catfight!

The story:
Heather Locklear and Denise Richards are no longer friends, now that Denise is dating Heather's ex Richie Sambora.

Image via A Socialite's Life

The combatants:
Tabloid Whore says: The one about the Heather and Denise feud
A Socialite's Life says: Denise Richards is dead to Heather Locklear
Glitterati Gossip says: Heather Locklear not surprised
The Scoop says: Does Locklear blame Richards for her divorce?
Popsugar says: Denise's ulterior motive
The Superficial says: Heather Locklear not pleased with Denise Richards

Who said it best:
A Socialite's Life points out the obvious answer to their headline:

I'm sure Charlie Sheen feels the same way.

It's getting down and dirty

The story:
Denise Richards files a lawsuit, claiming Charlie Sheen abused prescription drugs, is a compulsive gambler, frequented prostitutes and liked to look at male and female pornography on the Internet.

Image via Tabloid Whore

The combatants:
The Bosh says: "Abusive" Charlie Sheen barred from Denise Richards
The Superficial says: Charlie Sheen wants to kill Denise Richards
Celebrity Hijinx says: Denise's divorce drama
Defamer says: Denise Richards drops bomb on Charlie Sheen
Perez Hilton says: "Charlie wanted me to get an abortion"
I Don't Like You In That Way says: Charlie Sheen is insane
US Weekly Online says: Denise Richards shocker - Charlie beat me . . . and likes porn, too!
A Socialite's Life says: Denise Richards levels new charges at Charlie Sheen
Tabloid Whore says: Denise Richards alleges Sheen threatened to kill her

Who said it best:
While Sheen definitely comes out as the baddie in this one, IDLYITW has some advice for Denise next time she hooks up:

Top relationship counselors agree that when your potential husband, whose ex-girlfriend was a porn star (Ginger Lynn) and made plans to fake her death or when he shoots his previous fiancee (Kelly Preston), you should immediately get married and have children. They also believe that being charged five times for drug possession and once paying $15,000 for a blowjob, is a sign of his maturity. It's okay to love him despite his faults, but don't be surprised on your honeymoon when the Russian hooker gets broken and the phrase "bring out the gimp" comes up.