Seacrest out

The story:
Ryan Seacrest dumped Teri Hatcher after they were photographed kissing on their 3rd date, saying “I don’t think I can do this with you.”

Image via Smells Like Snark

The combatants:
Tabloid Whore says: Ryan Seacrest totally bailed on Teri Hatcher
A Socialite’s Life says: Ryan Searest dumped Teri Hatcher after 3rd date
Glitterati Gossip says: Teri Hatcher says Seacrest dumped her
US Weekly Online says: Teri Hatcher tells Oprah: Seacrest dumped me
Popsugar says: Teri won’t shut up
The Superficial says: Teri Hatcher and Ryan Seacrest break up

Who said it best:
Superficial, how I love you for this:

There are a few reasons I can think of why Ryan Seacrest wouldn't be able to "do this" with Teri Hatcher. I'd go into detail, but it's mostly just variations of her not having a penis, and there are only so many ways I can say it.

Simon just says no to Bag of Bones / Maybe-Gaybe relationship

The Story:
Simon Cowell calls Teri Hatcher and Ryan Seacrest's faux relationship, subtly outing Seacrest in the process.

The Combatants:
Popsugar says: Did Ryan already lose the beard?
Defamer says: Simon Cowell and Ryan Seacrest fighting like girls again
Glitterati Gossip says: Teri and Ryan and Simon - Oh My!

Who said it best:
As much as I hate all things Idol, I love Simon for publicizing this shiteous PR stunt for what it was. Kudos to Popsugar for not trying to top Simon's awesome line - if it ain't broke, don't fix it.