The Break Up

The story:
Matthew McConaughey and Penelope Cruz have split up.

Image via Tabloid Whore

The combatants:
Mollygood says: A Time to Split: See ya Penelope Cruz and Matthew McConaughey
Best Week Ever says: McConaughey and Cruz split
Tabloid Whore says: Penelope Cruz and Matthew McConaughey are on a break
A Socialite's Life says: Penelope Cruz and Matthew McConaughey have split
Dlisted says: He wants to spend more time with me
US Weekly Online says: McCruz separates
Defamer says: Matthew McConaughey and Penelope Cruz no longer in love with each other's publicity
The Superficial says: Matthew McConaughey and Penelope Cruz split
Celebrity Hijinx says: People's sexiest gay bachelor alive
Haute Gossip says: Dunzo!

Who said it best:
Dlisted came up with the most creative spin on an otherwise kind of ho hum story:

Matthew McConagay has decided to leave Penny Cruz, because spending time with her lesbo-ass was getting in the way of his qt with me.