Friday, September 08, 2006

Justice is finally served

The story:
Paris Whoreton arrested for drunk driving.

Image via Haute Gossip
The combatants:
Haute Gossip says: Karma's a killer
Celebrity Hijinx says: Throw the book at her. Don't worry, she can't read
The Superficial says: Paris Hilton arrested for DUI
Defamer says: Paris Hilton surrenders her DUI maidenhead
Popsugar says: Paris Hilton arrested!
Dlisted says: Does jizz have alcohol in it?
A Socialite's Life says: Paris Hilton pulls a Mel Gibson
Tabloid Whore says: Paris Hilton charged with DUI: "All I wanted was a burger"
Mollygood says: Paris Hilton DUI, celebrity justice
Celebitchy says: Paris' middle name is Lohitney and other DUI details
Mandy's Mind is Gossipy says: Sexually frustrated Paris turns to drinking and driving for cheap thrills

Who said it best:
So hard to pick a winner on this most awesome story, but here are a couple of highlights that made me giggle:
Why is it that lower class women working 3 jobs and raising 2 kids are never in the hospital complaining of "fatigue?" I'll show you fatigue, Paris. I'll grab you by your vaginal piercing and drag you around some poorer neighborhoods where people actually work for a living and have a reason to feel beat up. [Celebrity Hijinx]

One had the feeling that there were only so many times that category-defining celebutard Paris Hilton could emerge from a club, teeter over to that night's luxury automobile with paparazzi documenting every wobbly, stiletto-hindered step, and swerve off into the night before a cop would give her the chance to fail a Breathalyzer. [Defamer]

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