Mission Possible released

Image via The Gilded Moose

The story:
The TomKitten arrives.

The combatants:
Perez Hilton says: Baby Cruise is born, given alien name
The Bosh says: Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise have a girl
Lainey Gossip says: Hello little Sci
The Superficial says: Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes give birth to Suri
Celebrity Hijinx says: Katie gave birth on the moon!
Defamer says: Silent Blockbuster - Tom Cruise's miracle baby finally arrives
Popsugar says: Baby Cruise is here!
I Don't Like You In That Way says: Katie Holmes finally gave birth
US Weekly Online says: A Girl for Katie Homes and Tom Cruise
Dlisted says: It's barley water for baby Suri
The Gilded Moose says: Tom Cruise baby spawned, Los Angeles UNDER SIEGE

Who said it best:
Lainey deconstructs the Cruise PR machine:

"At press time, there are no details surrounding the birth, though not for lack of trying. Textbook Scientology stealth, if you ask me. All of a sudden they're dating. Then she's pregnant. Then she gives birth and abracadabra gay poofter - Mission Impossible 3 is due out in just 2 weeks. His timing is impeccable, non? Impeccable and yet more than a little suspect."