Uncle Toothy!

Image via Celebrity Nation

The story:
Maggie Gyllenhaal and boyfriend have become engaged and are expecting.

The combatants:
Perez Hilton says: Jake GyllenHO to be an uncle
Celebrity Hijinx says: Big Gay Uncle
Glitterati Gossip says: Maggie Gyllenhaal is engaged
The Superficial says: Peter Sarsgaard knocks up Maggie Gyllenhaal, marries her

Who said it best:
Celebrity Hijinx points out what's most important about this story.